I will be having a visitor, Kelly, coming in about a week. Kelly is a friend of my mothers daughter, who is currently in England. Kelly had plans with her friends to come to Hawaii for 3 weeks and stay with them, but as plans go they fell to pieces and she couldn't get another flight out of here at an earlier date. So I am having Kelly, who I should add I've never met before, coming to stay with me for 3 weeks. It should actually be fun having someone else around. Going out and doing the touristy things should be entertaining and time consuming. It does get hard to fill the hours of the day when you only have your dog for company because your husband is gone. :-(
On other news yesterday was Father's Day back home, so Happy Fathers Day Dad, even though I know you don't read this. I tried calling him but as per usual there was nobody home, I tried on both Saturday and Sunday. I guess I should try again today. I did send him a card though which I hope he receives.
I also learnt the other day that my uncle is buried in the backyard... haha... I know that sounds really bad but that is how it was somewhat said to me... it went like this: (M = mum, A = me)
M: I guess I should dig Peter up.
A: What are you talking about?
M: Peters buried in the back yard.
A: Ha?
M: His ashes... I didn't know what to do with them so I buried them in the back yard.
A: Oh, O'kay. (thinking thats not at all weird)
So I suggested putting him where I want to be put. Take into mind I'm 26 and have my funeral already planned. Granted I'm dying when I'm 91, I just want everyone to be sure on what I WANT! Not on what they think I want! I'm still not sure what she'll do with him, maybe bury him in her new back yard, but I think my suggestion is still the better choice.
P.S Larissa Ione books are HOT!!!
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
Saturday, 4 September 2010
The Joys of Being Sick
Don't you hate it when you get sick and there is no-one around to help you. When your nose runs non-stop, you can't stop sneezing, you have a headache that you can't seem to shake, your throat is dry; and all you want is for someone to feel sorry for you and help you in your time of need?! Well unlucky for me I am all alone in my time of need. There is no-one here for me to complain to about the need for more tissues, or to say "bless you" after every sneeze. I can complain to Sam but where is that going to get me, a lick on the hand to say "I'm here for you", its very reassuring to know that I at least have Sam by my side to offer a sympathetic ear. The plus side to that is I don't have to hear a response that I'm not going to like, and he isn't going to tell me to "shut up" when I continue to whine over my predicament.
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Decision Made... For Now
My decision on the whole mother - me thing is as of right now to stay as is.
The same day that I wrote the previous entry I spoke to my mother and she informed me that after only 2 weeks on the market the house had been sold. She called me after it had been sold, making my argument pointless as no matter what I would say the damage had already been done and can't be undone. So, I am going to take the high road and be adult about it... which is easy at the moment. I have a feeling when I finally visit home early next year I won't be feeling the same as I am now, but that isn't for 5 months.
I think that once I am home and I go to my favourite place in the world Bar Beach that I will be devastated. Because when I was a child and teen, and even an adult I use to walk to the beach as it was 5 minutes away from the house. Now when I go I won't be able to walk... I'll have to drive... ew! Then when I leave I won't be able to walk to a designated location I'll have to drive for 20 minutes just to get back to my dads. I really liked the walk to the beach. I would always go bare footed with just my bathing suit and a towel, and it worked for me! Now... I have to drive! So when I get home I have a feeling that my thoughts on this topic might change just a little, but it'll be OK... eventually.
On another note, when I was talking to my mother she told me my eldest brother Shannon asked for my email address. I'm still in a little shocked over this as I didn't even know he knew how to turn a computer on, let alone use the Internet. It caught me by surprise, and until he does email me I'll continue to think he is computer illiterate.
The same day that I wrote the previous entry I spoke to my mother and she informed me that after only 2 weeks on the market the house had been sold. She called me after it had been sold, making my argument pointless as no matter what I would say the damage had already been done and can't be undone. So, I am going to take the high road and be adult about it... which is easy at the moment. I have a feeling when I finally visit home early next year I won't be feeling the same as I am now, but that isn't for 5 months.
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| Bar Beach |
On another note, when I was talking to my mother she told me my eldest brother Shannon asked for my email address. I'm still in a little shocked over this as I didn't even know he knew how to turn a computer on, let alone use the Internet. It caught me by surprise, and until he does email me I'll continue to think he is computer illiterate.
Saturday, 28 August 2010
My Dream Interpretation
Last night I had a terrible dream. I dreamt about tarantulas... not just 1 there were 3 of them. Now every time I dream about spiders/tarantulas something happens, I just need to figure out what it means. I haven't dreamt about spiders in about 3 years, but I can still remember the last time I did and what it meant, I'm not going to go into it, but the outcome was good.
Anyhow, last nights dreams was gross and bizarre and a little scary. (I hate spiders... *shiver*) In my dream there were 3 tarantulas. One was dead, one was dying and the other was very much alive.
Now the way the first one died was by a boy eating it. Yes eating it, while it was alive. Very gross and its making me feel sick right now thinking about it. But he didn't eat the big fat bit like the guts I guess, I imagine it to be where the web is kept. Gross I know!
The second one was barely dying, after it was thrown at me and shot out its web on me then landed on the web, now it was barely dying because it was flicked away against a wall very hard. Its not fun dreaming of a big tarantula coming for your face!
The third one was very much alive because when I started to run it started to chase me.
Every time I have these dreams I run into the same person and I ask that person to please collect the spiders; which he does, without asking too many questions.
Every time I dream of spiders/tarantulas I tend to have something happen within my relationships with a loved on. I have a feeling this dream has something to do with my mother and the choices I have with dealing with her on the current situation.
I think the dead spider represents the relationship we could have if I chose that path. That path being the path of never speaking to her again! (which is the one I'm currently on.)
The dying spider, could mean our relationship could become more strained and uncomfortable. Our relationship prior to the problem was fairly good. Not great, but good. So this could mean our relationship could go on the fritz. Speaking, but not really talking.
The very much alive spider could mean that things will go on as they always have. I'm not sure about the chasing me part. Perhaps the chasing me means this is the choice I should make but I keep running away from it.
I'm not entirely sure what to think on this matter, and I'm pretty sure it'll all become clear after the choice has been made. I guess its a way of letting me know that there is a choice which I have to make and I have to make alone and on my own terms.
Anyhow, last nights dreams was gross and bizarre and a little scary. (I hate spiders... *shiver*) In my dream there were 3 tarantulas. One was dead, one was dying and the other was very much alive.
Now the way the first one died was by a boy eating it. Yes eating it, while it was alive. Very gross and its making me feel sick right now thinking about it. But he didn't eat the big fat bit like the guts I guess, I imagine it to be where the web is kept. Gross I know!
The second one was barely dying, after it was thrown at me and shot out its web on me then landed on the web, now it was barely dying because it was flicked away against a wall very hard. Its not fun dreaming of a big tarantula coming for your face!
The third one was very much alive because when I started to run it started to chase me.
Every time I have these dreams I run into the same person and I ask that person to please collect the spiders; which he does, without asking too many questions.
Every time I dream of spiders/tarantulas I tend to have something happen within my relationships with a loved on. I have a feeling this dream has something to do with my mother and the choices I have with dealing with her on the current situation.
I think the dead spider represents the relationship we could have if I chose that path. That path being the path of never speaking to her again! (which is the one I'm currently on.)
The dying spider, could mean our relationship could become more strained and uncomfortable. Our relationship prior to the problem was fairly good. Not great, but good. So this could mean our relationship could go on the fritz. Speaking, but not really talking.
The very much alive spider could mean that things will go on as they always have. I'm not sure about the chasing me part. Perhaps the chasing me means this is the choice I should make but I keep running away from it.
I'm not entirely sure what to think on this matter, and I'm pretty sure it'll all become clear after the choice has been made. I guess its a way of letting me know that there is a choice which I have to make and I have to make alone and on my own terms.
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Angry & Hurt & Slightly Amused
Angry & Hurt... its quite the combination! To conflicting emotions that turn into... for me... rage! That or being completely irate at the person for causing these 2 emotions.
Angry...
I am so friggin' angry at my mother for her decision to sell a house that has been in our family for 100 years. It has never been in another families hands until the sale goes through. I know its just a house, but it is a house with so many good memories from my childhood, prior to the divorce of 1991.
Hurt...
I am unbelievably hurt by my mothers callousness of her inability to inform me the decision to sell the house. Its been on the market for 2-3 weeks now and I found out yesterday, YESTERDAY. My dad was the one to inform me, not her; they've been divorced for 20 years almost! Can you say COWARD?!
Reason for telling me:
My dad was the one to inform me of this because my brother Stuart had been speaking to our mother that morning and she asked if dad had spoken to me. The conversation probably went something like this:
M: Has your dad spoken to Ashley?
S: I don't know. Why?
M: I'm just wondering if anyone has told her.
END COVO.
My brothers conversation with our dad:
S: Have you spoken to Ashley?
D: No, I've been meaning to... Why?
S: Mum wanted to know.
D: Why?
S: Has anyone told her about the house?
D: Ah... I don't know.
-- strange how we always question WHY in my family.
So my dad calls me and we were having a pleasent conversation discussing travel plans and towards the end he asks if I've spoken to her... It goes something like this:
D: Have you heard from your mother?
A: No, I haven't spoken to her in a couple of weeks. Why?
D: She put the house up for sale.
A: *Cursing my ass off* I'm sorry could you repeat that?
D: Shes selling the house!
A: Why are you telling me this and not her?...
Then my dad and I get onto the topic of how my mother is scared to tell me herself. I guess because out of the 3 of us (myself and 2 brothers) I'm the only one thats never yelled at them. That would be wrong! Now I understand the choice is hers to sell her property but it would have been real nice for her to have called me and spoken to me about it when the decision had been made. But NO! She didn't do that! SO typical of her, always making decisions that benefit her, which is her right, but never taking in the feelings of others. Or how it will hurt to find out weeks later. -- -- Its like when I found out my Nana died, who I wasn't close to, I found out a week after the funeral on my birthday.
Its strange my mother waited for someone else to tell me because she thought it'd be easier for her?! No it won't be easier... things are going to get much worse! I won't be paid off... I'm not going to fall for materialistic bullsh** things, just to appease her! Anyways... I've ranted enough about that and I'm still P.O'd but I do feel a little better. Now to why I'm slightly amused.
Amused...
Well to the end the conversation after my dad dropped the bomb went something like this:
A: I'm so P.O'd at her!
D: Well Ashley, now that I've made you so happy I have to go.
A: Ah... You're kidding right?! *laughing*
D: No... I have things to do at the bowlo.
A: Oh, OK. Thanks for telling me the wonderful news... appreciate it.
Then we went to love yous and bye.
Now I will get over this, but knowing me its not going to be over night. This is going to take years. It took me 10years to get over the last thing she did and that was 9 years ago. I would've been better off finding this out once the place had been sold. Because this is going to cause arguments while the problem can be resolved. Once its sold, there would be no point in arguing as the problem would be unsolvable.
Angry...
I am so friggin' angry at my mother for her decision to sell a house that has been in our family for 100 years. It has never been in another families hands until the sale goes through. I know its just a house, but it is a house with so many good memories from my childhood, prior to the divorce of 1991.
Hurt...
I am unbelievably hurt by my mothers callousness of her inability to inform me the decision to sell the house. Its been on the market for 2-3 weeks now and I found out yesterday, YESTERDAY. My dad was the one to inform me, not her; they've been divorced for 20 years almost! Can you say COWARD?!
Reason for telling me:
My dad was the one to inform me of this because my brother Stuart had been speaking to our mother that morning and she asked if dad had spoken to me. The conversation probably went something like this:
M: Has your dad spoken to Ashley?
S: I don't know. Why?
M: I'm just wondering if anyone has told her.
END COVO.
My brothers conversation with our dad:
S: Have you spoken to Ashley?
D: No, I've been meaning to... Why?
S: Mum wanted to know.
D: Why?
S: Has anyone told her about the house?
D: Ah... I don't know.
-- strange how we always question WHY in my family.
So my dad calls me and we were having a pleasent conversation discussing travel plans and towards the end he asks if I've spoken to her... It goes something like this:
D: Have you heard from your mother?
A: No, I haven't spoken to her in a couple of weeks. Why?
D: She put the house up for sale.
A: *Cursing my ass off* I'm sorry could you repeat that?
D: Shes selling the house!
A: Why are you telling me this and not her?...
Then my dad and I get onto the topic of how my mother is scared to tell me herself. I guess because out of the 3 of us (myself and 2 brothers) I'm the only one thats never yelled at them. That would be wrong! Now I understand the choice is hers to sell her property but it would have been real nice for her to have called me and spoken to me about it when the decision had been made. But NO! She didn't do that! SO typical of her, always making decisions that benefit her, which is her right, but never taking in the feelings of others. Or how it will hurt to find out weeks later. -- -- Its like when I found out my Nana died, who I wasn't close to, I found out a week after the funeral on my birthday.
Its strange my mother waited for someone else to tell me because she thought it'd be easier for her?! No it won't be easier... things are going to get much worse! I won't be paid off... I'm not going to fall for materialistic bullsh** things, just to appease her! Anyways... I've ranted enough about that and I'm still P.O'd but I do feel a little better. Now to why I'm slightly amused.
Amused...
Well to the end the conversation after my dad dropped the bomb went something like this:
A: I'm so P.O'd at her!
D: Well Ashley, now that I've made you so happy I have to go.
A: Ah... You're kidding right?! *laughing*
D: No... I have things to do at the bowlo.
A: Oh, OK. Thanks for telling me the wonderful news... appreciate it.
Then we went to love yous and bye.
Now I will get over this, but knowing me its not going to be over night. This is going to take years. It took me 10years to get over the last thing she did and that was 9 years ago. I would've been better off finding this out once the place had been sold. Because this is going to cause arguments while the problem can be resolved. Once its sold, there would be no point in arguing as the problem would be unsolvable.
Monday, 23 August 2010
Pho
Today a friend of mine and I went for Pho`. Which is pronounced as FAR and not as FOE. So I know the correct way to say it and I still ended up saying FOE. Then I corrected myself to the nice Vietnamese man. It was delicious Pho`. Tofu... mmmm..... I know most people turn there noses up at the sight of tofu let alone the taste, but I think if it is cooked correctly it is delicious. I usually get squid pho` but I had squid last night for dinner. I also know people turn away at the thought of eating squid, well I turn away at the thought of eating a cow. Cows are far to cute to eat, while squid is friggin' disgusting to look at; but oh so delicious to eat. I am totally rambling because I literally have nothing else to talk about.
The other day my husband and I were chatting online and he was telling me about this dog over there whose name is also Brian. Well my husband was telling me about the day that dog Brian ate a steak for dinner. Now this wasn't any fresh steak... no no no, this was 3 day old steak. 3 day old steak that Brian had buried and then dug up. I guess 3 day old steak is more delicious then fresh steak... not to mention the dirt on it.
My husband tends to see animals eating "normal" things to us, but completely abnormal to animals. He sent me a picture a couple of years ago while he was away on training and it was a picture of a squirrel eating a hamburger. I mean a squirrel eating a hamburger is pretty funny, just the thought of it to me is amusing. I thought they ate acorns?!
OK... rambling done for the day!!
The other day my husband and I were chatting online and he was telling me about this dog over there whose name is also Brian. Well my husband was telling me about the day that dog Brian ate a steak for dinner. Now this wasn't any fresh steak... no no no, this was 3 day old steak. 3 day old steak that Brian had buried and then dug up. I guess 3 day old steak is more delicious then fresh steak... not to mention the dirt on it.
My husband tends to see animals eating "normal" things to us, but completely abnormal to animals. He sent me a picture a couple of years ago while he was away on training and it was a picture of a squirrel eating a hamburger. I mean a squirrel eating a hamburger is pretty funny, just the thought of it to me is amusing. I thought they ate acorns?!
OK... rambling done for the day!!
Thursday, 19 August 2010
Going Stir Crazy
Holy crap...
I'M BORED!!!!!
I have nothing to do. I did some scrap booking until I filled up my two scrap books, and I'm not even sure if it looks that good. I only have my opinion on that matter and well my opinion isn't that high. I'm so talentless when it comes to art. Good thing I make up for it in... hmmm; I'm gonna have to get back to myself on that one!
I took a picture of a frog or toad, I have no idea which one it was... Sam was scared of it when I took him out; he would slowly approach then quickly run away... so friggin' adorable that one.
Isn't it ugly? Look at it, its got blue creepy shiny eyes... I'd say demon eyes but they are blue! How could a 90 pound dog be afraid of that little thing... although it is bigger then the average frog. He looks so cool, calm and collected and then some big brown things starts trying to sniff him; but no the frog/toad thing doesn't run, or hop away... the dog does!
Hows the nick name "Cowardly Dog" it suits him!
BAH.... I'm DONE.
I'M BORED!!!!!
I have nothing to do. I did some scrap booking until I filled up my two scrap books, and I'm not even sure if it looks that good. I only have my opinion on that matter and well my opinion isn't that high. I'm so talentless when it comes to art. Good thing I make up for it in... hmmm; I'm gonna have to get back to myself on that one!
I took a picture of a frog or toad, I have no idea which one it was... Sam was scared of it when I took him out; he would slowly approach then quickly run away... so friggin' adorable that one.
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| Is it a toad or a frog? |
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| Sam! The Cowardly Dog |
BAH.... I'm DONE.
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